Productivity....

I actually started a new post earlier today & had to just delete it because I couldn't finish.  After just the first couple sentences I had to put out a fire between my boys & it took too long!  So I lost my train of thought...oh well, here I go again.  Some days are so productive & then we have days where no matter how busy we are things don't seem to get accomplished.  On the other hand, what we think is productive may not be what God considers productive.  Yes, I can do the dishes, laundry, sweep the floors, take out the trash, cook supper...etc.....but did I spend quality time with my children?  Did I listen intently to my husband when he was telling me about his day?  Did I influence the power of decision making in my children?  Did I help anyone feel loved & appreciated today?  And the biggest question of all....did I seek God's face today?  It has taken me a long time to relax & learn that no matter how fast I get the house cleaned....it will get dirty again & again & again.  I used to not be able to relax at all until my house (my world) was perfect in my eyes.  And even then, it would only last so long before I was up in a fury trying to make it perfect again.  Yeah...I still have some more to learn, but I can say that I am now thankful for those little messes left behind by my loved ones because my house is full of love.  My dirty floor shows LIFE in my home, the ups, the downs, the sick, the healthy, it is all life!  MY life, MY kids, MY husband, MY church family that I adore --- that is what I see in my home now.  I'm going to strive to give all of MY stuff to MY God as my first act of productivity.   I think that is what God considers a productive day....when we give everything to Him & let Him use us no matter whether it fits in our schedules or not.  What did you do today with YOUR stuff?  I'm definitely not perfect, but through all the chaotic moments of the day, I think I did a few things right.  I shared God's love, quess the laudry will have to wait till tomorrow, darn!

P.S. - Thanks to my friends who also shared God's love with me today!  It always feels great to have someone you care so much for tell or show you how much you mean to them.  You know who you are girls!  Thanks so much!

My day...

So.... my day was productive until about 3pm and everything just stopped.  I got a chill & had to lie down for a bit.  Then when I got up it was time to start running again.  Went to worship practice tonight, it was wonderful.  Anytime I get a chance to play the piano, sing, & worship is a wonderful time for me. (Especially when my best friend is the leader!)  But then came the after worship practice stuff....you know, get home, clean up kitchen, finish laundry, feed the dogs, get the kids in the shower & then in bed.  Thankfully my husband helps when I ask.  I have to say, it would be really great if he would have some of that stuff done before I get home, but I guess I can't expect too much.  Men are a different species!!!  I love my husband though, he is very good to me.  During the past couple months he has been very sympathetic & patient with me.  This pregnancy thing seems to get in the way a lot!!!  If I'm not throwing up then I'm too tired to lift my head.  There's also those pesky moments of irritability that make me want to rib my kids (& husband) heads off.  Oh, & the best part....I'm very arroused most of the time yet I don't want to even share the bed with my loving husband right now!  If his foot slips past his side of the bed intruding on mine, I kick it back.  Like I said, he's been very patient with all my craziness.  Yeah, they may not have to go through the pain of labor, but they do have to deal with us, HaHaHa!!!  Overall, I know it will all be worth it when I get to see that cute little tiny face & snuggle with my new baby.  Just 4 1/2  more months to go......

Sabbath

So today was suppose to be my "Sabbath".  You know, the one day a week that you take off time from work to rest & spend time with God.  I have to admit that I didn't spend time with God, I'm sorry Lord.  The last thing I want to do is grieve my "Big Sugar Daddy".  (That's what I like to call the Heavenly Father & I don't tell very many people cause I don't want them to think I'm korny, or worse - crazy. Now you know!)  Anyways, I also didn't take very much time off from work.  I had about 100 papers to grade & lesson plans to make for next week.  Homeschooling is so fun, I say sarcastically.  It definitely has its perks, but anyone who thinks that it is easy has lost their ever-lovin mind!  Most weeks I feel as if I'm working 2 full-time jobs.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not disappointed with my life and my choices.  I know that we as a family have made the right choice to homeschool & God has confirmed it many times.  I just wish I could change jobs every once in a while.  You know, get out in the public & talk to people, have someone else listen to my advice & be grateful for it, prove to my kids that I'm not just a stay-at-home mom that doesn't know anything.  I'm actually a very interesting woman.  I have a lot to offer other people.  But, right now in this time, God wants me to offer it to my boys.  If they would just take the offer, they might find things work out much better!  That's ok and I will do my best & keep trying.  Maybe next week I will be able to take a real Sabbath.  Again, sorry Sugar Daddy, I will try better tomorrow to spend time with you & listen to whatever You want to tell me.

When & How

I truely believe that children are a blessing from God, but there are some days when we as parents & mothers have to continually remind ourselves that on a minute by minute basis.  You know, they are so easy when they are babies: eat, sleep, & poop, that's all.  They are so cute & cuddly, then they start to grow up.  The terrible twos begin the stage of independence.  No more wanting to hold mommy's hand, no more feeding them nutritional foods, and they have to do everything by themselves.  Some days we are just lucky to get a cookie in their bellies & feel grateful that they have something if anything in them at all.  But even then, I can handle it for the most part.  What I have a problem with is when do you start letting them make their own decisions.  Especially when you know without a shadow of a doubt that they are going to choose the wrong way.  How do we as parents let go & let them?  How does God do it for us?  If we love our children as much as we do, doesn't God love us on an even greater level.  Yet He still allows us to make our mistakes & it probably makes His heart cringe!  My heart hurts just thinking about my children having to go through painful things, little alone watching them.  When do we let go & when do we hang on tight?  Can anybody answer that question with complete certainty?

Well....

I actually never thought I would do such a thing as create my own blog, but then one of my best-friends had one and I just had to try it too!  The real reason is that I wanted to make this pretty page just so I can look at it whenever I want.  No matter how many times I try to make something pretty in my world my boys seem to make it unattractive.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my boys & even my husband.  There are just times that I wish for a little more fru-fru in my life.  I used to be the kind of girl that hated the color pink and now I wear it just to distinguish myself from the cloud of testosterone surrounding me.  It is funny how we evolve as we get older, have more children, or just move along this path of life.  I do have to say that my husband is a wonderful sport most of the time, especially when I start freaking out over all the small stuff.  I used to get so mad at him leaving the toilet seat up that everytime I found it that way, I would slam the seat down for a loud impact.  He would just say, "You're gonna break it honey."  Then my reply was, "And you'll fix it!"  He would, too, because he loves me.  Well, there is hope in the future for my household of little men.  I am pregnant & in a few weeks will find out if it is a boy or girl.  (Please God....let it be a GIRL!)  But if it does turn out to be another boy there is still a silver lining.....I will remain Queen!

Funny side note:  The other night my husband rolled over in bed, patted my butt, and said "You're my girl".   Then rolled back over and went back to sleep.  I asked him the next day what that was all about because it was so out of character for him.  (I liked it, it was cute.)  He said he was dreaming about the new baby & decided that I'm the only girl he needs in his life.  He wants me to stay the center of "girl world" in our house.  How cute!!!!!